Sunday, February 4, 2007

My "First Mom".....Viola Edwards/Fowler

This picture is my "first" Mom. I don't remember her at all. It's strange, but I miss her.

I was adopted when I was very little, I think I was 3 or 4 years old. We were all taken from our Mom when I was around 2 yrs old. I knew right from the start that I was adopted. I was adopted with my "real" brother, he was 2 yrs younger than me.

I can not remember anything from the time before I was adopted, I only had one or two memories, that's all I still have. I had nightmares for years, after I was adopted, almost every night. I would wake up screaming and crying. I don't know why.

My brother's room was right across the hallway from me. He is 2 years younger than me, and I always kept him close by, to watch over him. Lots of nights I'd fall asleep in the hallway between mine and my brother's rooms, or we would both sleep in that hallway, right under the window looking outside.

When I was growing up I used to wonder what happened to my "real" mom and dad, where did they go? Why were we adopted?? What did I do?? Was it MY fault?? What was my mom doing now? Where was she living? Was she living? So many questions, no answers. I kept telling myself that one day I would find my MOM, I dreamt about it, I thought about it a lot.

I wish I could have had the chance to meet my Mom. I would have liked to tell her that my brother and I were in a good home. She didn't have to worry about us. I found out that my Mom died as a result of a car accident in 1972, so I won't ever get that chance.

One day I would like the chance to visit her grave. It's very far from where I live right now, almost 3,000 miles. I would like to put flowers on her grave. Maybe some day I'll get that opportunity. I wish my Mom could know that some of us siblings have found each other again, and we are trying very hard to find the rest. I think she would be happy to know that.

Our parents were good to us, we were not mistreated, or abused. We were very fortunate. I didn't realize these things at the time, but now I do. I now appreciate the things our parents did for us, and the lessons they taught us growing up. We didn't do without a lot of things, which we would have if they hadn't adopted us. I love my parents, and am grateful for everything they've done for us. They taught us many things, which we didn't appreciate while growing up.

I love the parents that adopted us, they are my Mom and Dad and always will be.

I also love my "first" Mom.



Saturday, February 3, 2007

My Big Brother's Visit!!

Hi everyone, this is a picture of my brothers and myself. Left is my youngest brother I was adopted with, middle is my big brother I found 3 months ago, and that's me.

This picture was taken a few weeks ago when my big brother came to Alberta to buy his house. He's moving here in just a few weeks now, I can hardly wait!!

This was the first time my two brothers met since we've been separated over 45 years ago! What a wonderful time they had together getting acquainted! It was very nice to see. After just a few days they were just like brothers that's for sure, picking on me every chance they got!! And I didn't mind a bit!!

Anyways I just learned how to put these pictures on here so now I can do some more. I'll be adding more pictures soon.


VALERIE, ROSE MARIE, BILLY (WILLIAM?) where are you guys??

My Sisters

In my search I have found 2 sisters!

That's like a dream come true for me!! The whole time I was growing up I wanted a big sister to talk to, to share things with, someone to talk to. Little did I know at that time that I already had sisters, and brothers for that matter, nobody told me. I was so young when I was adopted, I didn't remember. I've been told that I've blocked out everything that happened to me from before I was adopted. Needless to say when I found out over 25 years ago that there were not just me and my youngest brother, but there were a total of 8 kids in our family, I was so shocked. I couldn't even think straight, all I could do was sit and cry. I actually was at work when I got this news, I had to get someone to take me home.

I sat and cried all day, I was hurt that I hadn't known this HUGE piece of information, and why couldn't I remember something as important and brothers and sisters? All the time I was growing up I thought I was the oldest, I was actually the second youngest!! WOW!! Now I knew my mission in life, I wanted desperately to find my brothers and sisters, HAD to find them, and right now too (I have absolutely NO patience at all), and bring my family back together again after all this time apart.

Well it took a long time, but I finally found my oldest sister!! I had to mail a letter to her to talk to her, snail mail too, so more waiting, but I had a sister!! I still have that letter I sent her, and I found out just recently that she has that letter too. This sister is the oldest of us all, and I'm so happy to have found her, I just found her around 4 years ago. We talked on the phone lots, and for hours at a time. Then she and her husband came out to meet me, for the weekend. I was in heaven!! To finally see my big sister, and hug her, it was fantastic. The weekend flew by way too fast.

Then finally I found my oldest brother just a couple months ago, well ok, it's been 3 months now!! I have had the chance to meet him in person too, he sent me a ticket to visit him, that was so wonderful, we had such a nice visit. (see earlier post about my big brother).

When I returned home from visiting him, I was back searching for my other siblings. My sister knew a married name for one of my sisters, and with a lot of help from Babbs and the group I got an email address for a woman with the same name. I sent her an email asking if she was my sister. I got a return email from her, YES SHE WAS MY SISTER!!! Woohooo!!! I sent her my phone number, and she phoned me, we talked for hours!! I'm so excited to have found her too!! I haven't gotten to meet her in person yet, but soon I will, I can't wait!!

My sister is moving in with my brother once he's moved from Nova Scotia, so they'll be so much closer to me, I can't wait, I'm so excited!

What a wonderful feeling to have 2 big sisters in my life now, and of course a big brother! It is so great to have them to talk to. I look forward to spending as much time with them as I can, and getting to know them.

My oldest daughter is getting married this summer, and we are all 5 going to be at her wedding, I can't wait for us all to be together again for the first time in 45 years!! I'm hoping to find more of my siblings before that time.



Thursday, February 1, 2007

Doing your search

If you came to this blog, I'm thinking you are affected in some way by adoption. If you are searching for a family member, I wish you the best of luck in your search

Myself I am not such a great "searcher", but I've gotten lots of help from some very kind and caring people. There are some very loving people called "Search Angels" that help people searching for their families, I can suggest a couple groups I recommend you join: this registry is a definite must, everyone will tell you to register on this site. You have to print out the form for this one and mail it in to them.

There are lots of other groups you could join, these are a couple I am on and the people here are fantastic.

I also recommend that you post your search information on every adoption registry you can find, and also register with your state board.

It is a good idea to have a journal to keep track of where you've registered, who you talked to in your search, people you've contacted, and their responses. You should also keep a list of where you register and your usernames and passwords.

Anyways, that's a good place to start, and once you are on a few groups, people will be more than happy to help you along in your search.

I wish you all the best in your search.