A fellow adoptee posted this on a registry group I'm on. Wow, this says it all!! With her permission I am putting it on my blog. Sure makes ya think hey?
Here it is:
I AM NOT A COUNTERFEIT HANDBAG
........the creation of which has to be kept a secret for fear of the "creator" or the "purchaser" being discovered and hauled off to some penal institution.
I AM A REAL PERSON .........who' s "creators" gave me life. I breathe, laugh, cry, think, pray, conceive, give birth and die. And, why, as "real persons", are we not allowed to know who our "creators" are? The creation of a counterfeit handbag can be more easily traced than the background of an adopted person. There's something wrong with this entire concept. I've heard the theory that the birth parents couldn't keep their children for any number of reasons. I CAN completely understand ANY of the reasons the birth parents came to that conclusion. But, why am I, a completely innocent Person, not allowed to know anything about those two people who conceived me? I've heard the theory that the adoptive parents needed everything to be completely secretive (in adoptions of years past) for numerous reasons. I CANNOT understand any part of that theory.
For argument's sake, let's go back to the counterfeit handbag. If the handbag could speak, it could tell you exactly which cow its leather came from. If asked who sewed it together, it could name the precise seamstress. If asked about its lining, it could tell you the fabric mill the lining came from.
When the adopted "real person" fills out a physician's history form, the adopted "real person" has to enter "no history - adopted". When the adopted "real person" is asked, in elementary school, to complete a family-tree project, the adopted "real person" has to enter "no history - adopted". When the adopted "real person" is asked, by their grown children who are thinking of having children of their own, what might be in their medical background, the adopted "real person" must answer "no history - adopted".
EXCUSE ME, but I am a REAL PERSON and I DO have a history. And all of these supposedly well-meaning people are keeping it from me. The people who know something about me and aren't telling goes on and on .. the parents of the birth parents, the birth parents themselves, the maternity home (if applicable), the hospital, the doctor, the adoption agency, the foster home (if applicable), the lawyer for the birth parents, the lawyer for the adoptive parents, the clerk in the lawyer's office, the judge handling the adoption proceedings, the government of my state and the adoptive parents (if applicable). Every single entity listed knows SOMETHING about me that I have a RIGHT to know.
I think I'd rather be a counterfeit handbag !!!
By Victoria Lee Markland a/k/a Mary Jane Dachsteiner Gable.
Here is the addy for Mary's blog:
Thank you Mary for letting me post this on my blog. I wish you all the luck in your search.
ISO VALERIE EDWARDS sept 24, 1951, ROSE MARIE EDWARDS july 7, 1954, and BILLY (WILLIAM?) EDWARDS june 18, 1957.
Where are you??